Bigfoot and Beer

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BigfootyIf you are intrigued by Bigfoot, or a fan of beer, or really just need some cash, you are in luck. The Olympia Brewing Company, based in Olympia, Washington is offering a reward of $1,000,000 for the capture and SAFE return of Bigfoot.

According to their website:

Olympia Beer and Bigfoot have been leaving footprints together in the Pacific Northwest since 1896.

We have been sharing the same backyard for over a century and we believe it’s time to do what has never been done, and that is to offer a one million dollar reward to anyone who can ensure the safe capture of Bigfoot. When we say safe capture that means Bigfoot has to be alive and breathing folks, with no wounds. That’s right you can’t use any act of violence, no guns/knives/boxing gloves/nets/etc, only sugar or sweets to lure him in.

You must register to participate in the search. To report your discovery of irrefutable evidence of the existence of Bigfoot, click on the “Submit Capture Report” link on the left and follow the instructions to report your evidence. You participation in the search is subject to the complete Official Rules.

Click here to enter read more and enter the contest!

Bigfoot Contest

Sasquatch on!

Paranormal Odyssey

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A super fun interview with Paranormal Odyssey Podcast, now available for download HERE. Here’s what the hosts had to say about it.

 

Author Varla Ventura takes the stage on the Paranormal Odyssey Podcast, and scares the shit out of us with tales of Werewolves, Irish monsters, and Banshees. Keep the lights on when you listen to this one! The Mighty Ants Lipanovic takes the center seat on this one!

http://paranormalodyssey.podomatic.com/entry/2013-03-20T05_01_23-07_00

 

malevolent Banshee

Zombies of Miami (Bath Salts Strike Again)

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On a Miami, Florida off-ramp, a completely naked man attacked a homeless man with a ferociousness that makes The Texas Chainsaw Massacre look mild. The attacker began tearing away at the victim’s face, biting with his mouth, and then eating the chunks of flesh he tore off. Though the police and hospital are not confirming, the attacker is believed to be under the influence of bath salts–and not the kind that soak your cares away. Bath Salts are an amphetamine, and this is not the first time the drug has lead to zombie-like behavior.

Users snort, smoke, or inject the amphetamine, which can lead to extreme reactions including severe hallucinations. Reports of bizarre and extreme crimes while under the influence continue to flood the news. A man slayed a goat while wearing women’s underwear, a couple repeatedly called 911 to report a non-existent intruder, and more than one person has exhibited the urge to eat another persons flesh!

I don’t think this is quite what Vincent Price was expecting as The Last Man on Earth. But then, who ever said the apocalypse would be predictable? (Oh wait…)

Me, victim of a zombie encounter or just up all night?

Me, victim of a zombie encounter or just up all night?

I Am an Android

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robot valentineAnd I’m a tablet, and an iPad and all kinds of other robotic things.

Freaky stories available now as apps for your devices! Including awesome bonus things like interviews with me!

 

My publisher just released the following information:

 

Dare to explore the dark side with this superbly disquieting collection of tales featured in our Paranormal Parlor, Magical Creatures, and Antiquarian Curiosity Shoppe apps!  Now available in iTunes, Android, and soon for Kindle tablets.

 

Enjoy this compendium of hauntings, seances, psychic investigations, magic, trickery, and more…at a great price!

 

Download the free BiblioBoard app for access to our anthologies.

 

For iTunes click https://service.biblioboard.com/featuredContent/refer/SEO/APPID-00000000483/Tp

 

For Android click https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.biblioboard

Varla Ventura’s Gruesome and Ghoulish Gift Guide for the Holidays

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Over the weekend I was haunting my local Haight Street shops and went into one of my favorites: Cheap Thrills. This store is like what Hot Topic wishes it could be. It’s packed full with everything from tiny rubber chickens to Day of the Dead skull dresses. The Baby Ventura (whom I should really start referring to as The Toddler Ventura) LOVES this store almost as much as I do.  The second I walked in the PJ Harvey and Nick Cave duet Henry Lee started playing over the speakers (one of my favorite songs!)  so as I browsed the mermaid tattoo patches and stripey socks, I was feeling pretty good. Imagine the “cheap thrill” I got when I looked over at the books and saw my very own The Book of the Bizarre stacked neatly on top! Like a total nerd, I still get excited over such things, and I exclaimed to the shopkeep, “Hey! I wrote this!” And no, she didn’t ask me to sign the copy but did smile nicely and seemed pretty tickled that I was so tickled. This got me thinking I needed to plug their awesome store, and while I’m at it, I decided to create Varla Ventura’s Gruesome and Ghoulish Gift Guide for the Holidays.

So here are 13 (or so) fun, freaky, and fabulous gifts for every man, woman, beast, and child on your list. (Not necessarily in that order.)

1. Day of the Dead Mirror

I’ll start off with one of the a real cheap and thrilling item from Cheap Thrills. Their online store, http://www.thrillomatic.com/ features such great categories as Bacon Stuff, Cupcake Stuff , Monkey Stuff, Devil Stuff, and Unicorn Stuff. This one is a perfect stocking stuffer, sweet little gift for a girlfriend, babysitter, co-worker, etc. It’s a Day of the Dead mirror, cute, compact and only $2.99!!

2. Aventurine Witch’s Apple

And speaking of magic mirrors, did you get my e-book collection, The Poison Apple and and Other Tales of Magic Mirrors and Wicked Queens? No? Well it’s pretty cheap ($2.99) too. If you are a fan of Snow White here is the perfect gift for every wicked or white witch on you list. A super-charged magical apple charm from one of the coolest purveyors of witchery, White Magick Alchemy. According to the witches at White Magick, Aventurine (the apple in the picture in the gallery is made of Aventurine but other options are available) “promotes relaxation, recovery, and regeneration. You should never buy a lottery ticket without aventurine in your left pocket!”

3.  Skull Decanter

Some of you may be familiar with my other favorite shop on Haight, Loved to Death, thanks to the show Oddiites. This is one of those stores you can basically randomly point in any direction and find the ideal gift for the likes of me, or any other pirate/goth/archeologist in your life (I’m talking bout you, Pirate Chris). But one of the recent stand outs is this gorgeous skull decanter set with glassware. It’s a little pricier at $150 but so divine!

4. Silver Tentacle Jewelry from The Bone Room

Get thee to the Bone Room and purchase me the skull jewelery. Or a gravestone locket. Or a Spider poison ring. Or order up a realistic replica skull for your bookshelf. Or….Just be sure and call the store for availability on the jewelry. It’s artisan fortified and not mass-produced.

5. Sea Monster Collage Kit

For the little adventurer in your life, this awesome collage kit can be purchased from Paxton Gate online or in their real-world kids store (Curiosities for Kids). I mean really, what kid doesn’t love sea monsters? You’ll also find freaky jewelry, terrariums, taxidermy, and orchids.

6. Books! of the Bizarre

Of course I’ve got to add my own books to this list. Both The Book of the Bizarre and it’s sister Beyond Bizarre are cute lil’ 5 x 7 packages with flaps, lots of fun and freaky art, and packed to the gills with bizarre stories, paranormal tales, and things you need to know for your next cocktail party. And for you e-book geeks out there, I have collections of Paranormal Parlor and Magical Creature books too, which are very affordable and fun. Available on Amazon, B&N, and where ever books are sold!

7. Skull Pot Scrubber

Make household chores a little less boring with this amazing purple skull pot scrubber from Plasticland.com. This store, by the way, has a bit of everything cool you could imagine. Dresses, shoes, (I like the Spineless X-Ray shoes) Mermaid Tattoo pillows, and so much more. It’s very affordable, fun, and offers a great flat rate shipping on all orders–so fill up your cart and check it out!

8.  The Overlook Hotel T-Shirt from 6dollarshirts.com

This website offers t-shirts from pop-culture to horror to humor and all for just six dollars! It’s actually $6.50 for a cute babydoll cut shirt for the gals in your life, but still an amazing deal. You can also get 10 shirts for 50! They’ve got a couple Edgar Allan Poe and Stephen King themed shirts that I’ve already ordered! But this Overlook Hotel t-shirt, featuring the freaky twins in the center of a maze, is a must have for any fan of the horror movie (or book. Of course nerds like me know it’s not a hedge maze but hedge animals in the book…)

9. Bat Cameo Book Mark

I’ve already purchased a gorgeous cameo and two rings from this amazing website, Starrlightjewelry and Design. She also has an Etsy shop that offers an array of incredible items at incredibly low prices! Seriously, $11 dollars for this gorgeous little bookmark, I can personally attest to the quality of this woman’s work! Plus, she donates money to bat conservation. And she is a cat lover. Oh and runs an animal sanctuary. Word to the wise, her etsy shop is currently closed for the holidays. But you can shop through her website (which is linked above for the bookmark.) Go Lady Starrlight!

10. Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Milk Pirate Onesie

Piratemod are the premier purveyors of pirate themed t-shirts, sweatshirts, doggie shirts, and baby/toddler items with amazing quality and a wide variety of super sweet Pirate themes.  Plus these people are the master minds behind the Northern California Pirate Festival. Check out their online shop and get something for your dog, your baby, and your husband/lover/girlfriend/wife. My other favorite–a black t-shirt with the wise words: The beatings will continue until morale improves.

11. Sacred Heart Print by artist Benjamin A. Vierling

One of the most magnificent artists of our time, Vierling uses old world Renaissance techniques to create a layered depth rare in painting today. His painting Sacred Heart features botanicals and creatures aligned with witchcraft and high magick. This high quality limited edition print  Sacred Heart, has been produced via 6-colour offset lithography and printed on archival coated stock, the 16” x 20” print is strictly limited to 250 copies, hand-signed and numbered by the Artist. It’s reasonably priced (under $75) and makes a unique and incredible gift for the witch, alchemist, lover of the macabre, or art fanatic in your life.  (Check out the image in the gallery to see the splendor.)Vierling offers his original paintings and a limited number of prints through his website here: http://www.bvierling.com/

12.  Dead Sexy Bath and Body

This perfume from Tokyo Milk is described as having hints of  White Orchid, Vanilla, Ebony & Exotic Woods. With a super cute skull and crossbones, the Lady of the House will be delighted with this gothically minded gift. Comes also in a hand cream!

13. Monster High Doll: FrankieThis enchanting alternative to Barbies (the Monster High crew look like they’d carve Barbie, Ken, and Skipper up and eat them for a midnight feast) my personal favorite is Frankie Stein, the daughter of Frankenstein of course.  Her favorite color is black and white stripes, and claims that her biggest pet peeve is that every morning when she comes upstairs her father shouts “It’s alive!”

I’m proud to tell you my nieces are obsessed with these dolls, so be warned. Once you buy one (Draculaura is cute too!) they will want them all.

Check out the gallery below to see pictures of all these fun gift items. And now, as the mommy zombie said to the toddler zombie, go forth and consume!

Saturday Night Special~Church of Mabus!

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Hey Freaks! Whatcha’ doin Saturday night? Want to get into the “spirit” of Christmas? Join me on Church of Mabus radio.  Hosts Jeffery Pritchett & Erica Goetsch are ripe and ready to discuss Christmas trolls, Krampus, terrifying creatures of the night, little men you should beware of, freaky facts, dark and strormys and so much more!

Follow this link and listen live this Saturday DECEMBER 15th from 8pm-11pm PST, 11pm-1am EST:

http://churchofmabusradio.com/1328/church-of-mabus/varla-ventura-yuletide-krampus-christmas-terrors-the-totally-bizarre/

And if you aren’t up for the night (pathetic! you fall asleep sooo early these days!) you can listen to the archived show the morning after. Or sometime to follow that.

So if you’re worried that that isn’t Santa scratching on your rooftop, join me. It probably isn’t. And it aint’ the wind, neither.

Krampus Date

Unicorns are Real (Or They Were, Anyway)

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unicornRecent headlines in Korea settle the myth vs. reality debate once and for all! Unicorns are REAL, or at least they were once upon a time. According to  the Korean News Agency:

Archaeologists of the History Institute of the DPRK Academy of Social Sciences have recently reconfirmed a lair of the unicorn rode by King Tongmyong, founder of the Koguryo Kingdom (B.C. 277-A.D. 668).

The lair is located 200 meters from the Yongmyong Temple in Moran Hill in Pyongyang City. A rectangular rock carved with words “Unicorn Lair” stands in front of the lair. The carved words are believed to date back to the period of Koryo Kingdom (918-1392).

 

Say what? Unicorns abound.

Check out this Unicorn e-book collection, compiled by me and my friend Clint Marsh:

Unicornicopia by Varla Ventura and Clint Marsh

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

 

Sex on the Beach with Mermaids~A Happy Hour of Horrors

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As the cold of November settles upon most of us, sinking into the bones and sharpening our breath, even the most heavy-caped of us might find ourselves–even for just a moment–wanting the feel of sand beneath our toes and the lapping of warm waters against our flesh. So how can we achieve these sensations, even with a few inches of snow on the ground? It’s not as (ahem) hard as you may think. Just grab yourself a copy of one of my Magical Creatures eBooks on the topic of mermaids, mix yourself up a potent Sex on the Beach, crank up your heater (and maybe your humidifier) and get wild!

Available now for under $3 you can read these on your Kindle, Nook, iPad or whatever digital creation you’ve managed to procure. Just make sure you read them before you’ve had too many cocktails, as they don’t recover from sticky spills like hardcover books!

The Mermaid of Druid Lake by Varla Ventura and Charles Weathers Bump

Amazon

B&N

Among the Mermaids by Varla Ventura, T. Crofton Croker and William Butler Yeats

Amazon

B&N 

The Mermaid’s Prophecy and Other Stories by Varla Ventura

Amazon

B&N

And once you’ve had your night of wild fun, don’t forget to read my post on my forthcoming, full-length book (pre-order here) coming this next year. I’m still accepting submissions about your mermaid encounters. I know you’ve had them. Or if you’ve got some other sea-creature or water-beast hiding in your bathtub, I want to know! If you know pirates, scuba-divers, or oceanographers, please share the call for entries with them.

Sex on the Beach

I got this basic recipe from DrinkNation but I’ve made some notes on variation to really Horror-fy it.

  • 2/3 oz. Schnapps, peach (you can add peach juice if you’d rather, but the Schnapps give it an extra kick, thus insuring you’ll get drunker. I like to use a few frozen peaches as well, but the drink can get muddled–much like your mind when you’ve had a few!)
  • 1 1/3 oz. Vodka
  • 1 1/3 oz. Cranberry Juice
  • 1 1/3 oz. Orange Juice
  • Sometimes I add a splash of coconut rum here, if I have any leftover from my most recent romp with the pirates. Instead of juice you can use a syrup like Torani, and you can even sub raspberry for cranberry.

Mixing Instructions

Combine ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake and strain into a highball glass filled with ice.

I like to add a mermaid swizzle stick or at minimum a mini-paper parasol. You can also serve this in a martini glass but once you’ve had your third one you might want to switch to the highball. It doesn’t spill as easy!

Trust me, drink enough of these and you’ll remember a mermaid encounter or two…

This Blog Has Been Infected! Zompocalypse 2012

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The gorgeous beings at Paranormal Wastelands are hosting a Zompocalypse Halloween Hop! And there are TWO (that’s right TWO) ways to win. I’ll be giving away a copy of  The Book of the Bizarre and a grab bag of oozing zombie fun, including bug bracelets and stretchy zombie toys. Winner will be announced on November 2nd.

1. Follow my blog, then leave your comment below telling me your favorite character from horror, movies or books. If you’re inclined, like me on facebook and follow me on Twitter too. Between October 28th-31st.

Comment (leave your email address) anytime between October 28th and midnight on Halloween. I’ll announce the winner by the 3rd or so of November.

AND/OR

2. You can also  go and check out my guest post on Paranormal Wasteland  For Whom the Bell Tolls: The Bateson Revival Device and Other Freaky Stories of  Premature Burial, Funeral Customs, and The Walking Dead

There is a button to enter to win at the bottom of the post.

All entries must be in the US or Canada.

Good luck, and Happy Halloween Month!!!!!!!

Zompocaplyse! A Grab Bag of Giveaway Fun!

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The gorgeous beings at Paranormal Wastelands are hosting a Zompocalypse blog hop! And there are TWO (that’s right TWO) ways to win.

Today October 25th: go and check out my guest post For Whom the Bell Tolls: The Bateson Revival Device and Other Freaky Stories of  Premature Burial, Funeral Customs, and The Walking Dead

At the bottom of the page you can enter to win my book + zombie swag.

On October 28th-31st there will be an additional giveaway/Zompocalypse Blog Hop where you can do the following and enter to win again! I’ll repost this in a few days…

Follow my blog, then leave your comment below telling me your favorite character from horror, movies or books. If you’re inclined, like me on facebook and follow me on Twitter too. Between October 28th-31st.

I’ll be giving away a copy of  The Book of the Bizarre and a grab bag of oozing zombie fun, including bug bracelets and stretchy zombie toys. Winner will be announced on November 2nd.

Comment (leave your email address) anytime between October 28th and midnight on Halloween. I’ll announce the winner by the 3rd or so of November.

All entries must be in the US or Canada.

Good luck, and Happy Halloween Month!!!!!!!